Ich mochte einen gemischtes eis bitte.

Well what a hoot. Success has been ours and my future housemate N and I have managed to find ourselves a nice little place in Norwich to rent. To celebrate I had a few of the ladies over for food and trial by food, sherry and lots of squealing for N. She joined in like a trooper and I am looking forward to having her as a housemate.

Now N is German and proclaims that she cannot cook but has a thing for fashion. Which is useful as I like to cook, have an expanding waistline and could do with some fashion advice.

Friday night kicked off at 7.30pm and to start we had pan fried asparagus sprinkled with salt, home made bruschetta, and pan fried king parwns in butter and garlic. Then I cooked a veggie arrabiata with the worls amount of pasta. The sauce was a mixture of courgettes, aubergine, onion, chilli, 2 cans of chopped toms and chilli (love it). Pop in a dash of anchovy sauce, some lovely herbs (Fortnum and Mason, dahlink), bring to boil, simmer and don't burn on the bottom (ahem). Next get a grill pan heated up. Rub garlic over some nice sliceed ciabatta, pop in oven.Take out when toasted and get that basil bush chpped up and on the fresh bruschetta. Yum.

Take the room temp toms and add olive oil. Season slightly. Chuck in the asparagus, swish it around for a couple of minutes and it is done when it has that gorgeous vibrant green colour. Serve at table where hordes of cackling ladies will descend upon it. Keep the pan on. Add butter and a dash of oil. Pop in two cloves of garlic, add prawns - let them get really pink-turn prawns-let them get really pink. As before, table, ladies, descend, tear bodies and legs of the prawn like he is the best man/worst man you have ever met. Reckless abandon abounds.

Sauce and pasta will be finished by now. Dish it up and let the aforementioned ladies tuck in. By now you will have finished one bottle of cava, at least three bottles of wine and lord knows what else. Any burnt bits will be more than acceptable.

Then it's on to dessert and coffee. Nobody will really care at this point so don't go to any specail effort but buy a pretty cake and get a mate to bring you some tasty creme brulee and a hooting story about a broken ceramic dish (thanks L). Fab conversation will have been going on for a while, you will have had loads of lovely compliments, the ex will have come home(and doesn't he look a dish - something yum)and you will be rabbiting on about how you can sprechen sie deutsch. Your new housemat N will be amazed and ask for a little nugget. You will say - 'Ich mochte einen gemischtes eis bitte.' New housemate will curl up with laughter and the others will all go 'What does that mean' It is so true of a sunny day that yes, the transalation is 'I would like a mixed ice-cream please'. Happy days.